I Didn't View a Sporting Event All Weekend

It is possible. It can be done. It requires a lot of drinks, but it can be done.

You read correctly, I didn't watch any form of sporting event this weekend. I didn't watch a single highlight. How is this possible?

Well, I left work AFTER the Cubs game on Friday to drive to Knoxville. My girlfriend and I had to be in her hometown of Dayton, TN on Saturday for a wedding. Needless to say, my Blackjack doesn't get much of the 3G Network there.

Anyway, after dinner Friday, we went to Toddy's, say on the porch, hung out with some friends. No TV out there. After enough beers, it was time to go home, pass out.

Saturday, after pretty much just started with driving to Dayton. There, we just hung out before getting cleaned up for the wedding. This, one would assume would be prime TV viewing time. Well, though it was peaceful anyway out on the deck, her parents seemingly don't have ESPN. Which is both bogus and sad. Not wanting to push the issue, I said nothing, didn't force my way into a mid-afternoon Wimbledon replay, and caught the scores on my phone...at a not so rapid pace.

The wedding was out of doors, nice, very hot. I'm a sweat-er. Not to be confused with a sweater. I am not made out of wool. So I proceeded to sweat a lot outside, and then at the reception, outside. No TV.

However, the reception was a rockin' party. Lots of southern rock. Enough dancing. And lots of running to the front to headbang for no apparent reason other than they played "Can't You See" and they had a real flutist. They weren't Aqualung, the Ultimate Tribute to Jethro Tull, but they got the job done.

Needless to say, when we stumbled back to the ole parent's home, it wasn't really an option to grab the 2 AM Sportscenter. Not because I didn't want to wake up the girfriend's parents...but it just wasn't an option given cablistic capabilities. Caught the scores before going to bed.

More of the same on Sunday. Tried to go out on the lake...God had a different plan. He threw lightning at us. He won.

So we got back to Knoxville and went to dinner. Came back, cable, AC, all available. With Sunday Night Baseball being a definite possibility, what was on SPIKE last night? ROADHOUSE.

Some Tigers game? Roadhouse? Sorry, I went with Dalton. Sometimes you have to. Placido Polanco doesn't do a lot for me. Roadhouse also has the best exchange of lines in any movie:

Girl: You gotta name?
Dalton: Yeah.

Moral of the story is yes, it is possible to go through a weekend without sports. However, I got lucky...time was passed by driving, enjoyment by beer, and entertainment by Swayze.

Don't try it. I don't recommend it, but for all of you out there who depend so hard sports to get you through the days...make sure you go pick up Roadhouse on DVD for 99 cents and carry it in your car at all times.