Gary Player's Hunt for Justice

There's a report running around that Gary Player is afraid of the use of steroids in golf.

Well, are you really surprised?

Someone in every pro sport is doing it. I don't exactly see golf as being a steroid type sport, but you gotta do what you gotta do. He says that he has a source that told player the source had used the juice, and another person confirmed the source's usage. Player said it this way:

"I took an oath prior to him telling me -- I won't tell you where -- but he told me what he did, and I could see this massive change in him," Player said. "And somebody else told me something, that I also promised I wouldn't tell, that verified others had done it."

Lest we forget, Gary Player is getting old. His eyes could be going bad just like his golf game. I suppose it was just a matter of time before the juice made its way into golf. I remember when clubs like the Carbite putter came out with sales pitches of "Why pay $400 for a driver when half the putts you take are on a putting green?" I'll tell you why Mr. Carbite, it's because the closer you are to the green, the higher the likelihood of hitting a lower iron approach, resulting in an easier shot, resulting in an easier first putt, with or without a Carbite putter.

Distance in golf really is a huge advantage for the pros, and even for us mid-handicapping am's. So I can understand where the need for the juice would be? Let's look at possible candidates:

Mike Weir: Smallest guy on tour. If he puts on a pound, Gary Player will notice.

Vijay Singh: Always wears really baggy shirts. Thus, if he started to fill out some, no one would notice.

Justin Leonard: Like Vijay, if he started to fill out, no one would notice.

Phil Mickelson: Doesn't have balls to lose anyway.

Here's my favorite part about Player's comments, he said the following with regards to random testing:

"Whether it's HGH, whether it's Creatine or whether it's steroids, I know for a fact that some golfers are doing it," he said.

If high school athletics tested for Creatine, I can assure that 98% of my high school football team would not have been eligible for the '01 season. I represented the other 2%. Gary Player loves me.

I don't love him back. Creatine? Are you serious? Are we going to start testing for protein? Caffeine? Red Blood Cells? Seriously. Do they sell caffeine in South Africa?

This steroid thing is getting out of hand as we all know. But when people like Gary Player bring it up internationally and sound stupid about it, makes America look stupid for having Congressional Committees concerning it's use. Oh, wait, it's still golf though. If you really take performance enhancing drugs to play golf of all things, well, that says a lot about yourself anyway.

What's up Annika?